Friday, September 17, 2004

School dreams instead of nightmares

I look forward to school.

It's funny to hear myself say that aloud. I mean, I never did in the past. Public school was almost unbearably boring for me...if it wasn't for drama and my gig as a morning announcer, I wouldn't have had any pleasure going at all. Kind of sad seeing how many years I was stuck with it. Then I graduated high-school and found myself in the real world.



Well...almost. First I had to get through college. Sadly, on a social and emotional level I just wasn't ready for it. I still was kind of screwed up from some upheavels in my last highschool year (a story for another day) and I just didn't have the focus to give my all. I finished the first term of my Radio and Television course at Centennial College, but left before the full first year was out...citing that the costs of the photographic component were too much to bear. This was pretty much true, though others had offered to help me through it. In reality my heart just wasn't up to school anymore...my focus had shifted.

Years and a whole lot of jobs later - 90% being in the computer sector - I find myself wishing more and more that I had at least finished that first year of college. Even if I didn't stick with the programme beyond that I would have been able to take my credits and move in a different direction. But hindsight is 20-20 and I just can't go back to correct that mistake.

So...here I am, often feeling like the world is leaving me behind. I have been very fortunate to make some incredible connections that have led to great jobs (or at least jobs that keep me alive), but it's getting harder and harder to move forward without that piece of paper that says I have completed some certified programme...whether it be certification or diploma. My goal is to change that.

I've been taking little courses here and there when I have the time. Mostly all acting courses, however there has been a graphic design course to put a foot in that pathway. I want to do more...and I would like to finally find a programme in a school and finish it completely. What I'd REALLY like to do is first get a college certification in something and then transfer credits to a University and get my BA. The only problem with that has been cashflow. Melanie and I aren't doing bad financially, however with me having so much uncertain consistency as to how long I'm going to be employed it just hasn't allowed me to just start throwing money around. That's the problem being a consultant who keeps getting short-term contracts...they keep you sweating.

If I get this new job in October, I think it'll be time to buckle down finally and add some serious schooling. It could take years to complete, but at least I'll have the knowledge that I'm working towards doing something better, for me and my family.

Until then, it's all acting courses. I have a Sears & Switzer course this weekend on Commercial Auditioning Skills, and I plan to register for Second City courses the first week of November. Just because I'm planning on studying something else doesn't mean I'm giving up the acting. I may be confused, overtly ambitious and unfocused much of the time, but I'm not stupid.

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